Well, we’re already on the second day and honestly I can say it feels like I have already suffered through two weeks. It’s funny how time seems to feel much longer when you’re suffering, yet so much shorter when you’re having fun. Yet even after cutting out two of the closest people in my life and just not seeing them I am already healing slowly and I can definitely feel it. I feel like the weight on my shoulders is gone and I can quietly work on myself in hopes to at some point return to the one that stayed.
Speaking of those people, since my ex-bestfriend blocked and deleted me off social media that initial sting of it is gone. It honestly didn’t take very long at all for the hurt of the event to disappear and probably because I realized something. She herself wasn’t actually that great of a friend and she only chose to do things when it was convenient or entertaining for her. When I wanted to talk about my problems she often gave me very little and didn’t really try to answer me, she would try and change the subject but when it was about her it was different. She always brought problems to me, she would call me at work or msg me and ask me for help. I would help. I gave her so much and I honestly only feel she gave me only a little.
I guess that’s the things about friends, they can be somebody so important to you and take up so much of your life but still be somebody truly not worth your time. We hadn’t been truly close in pretty much over a year though. The last time I remember us being close was back in 2014. A year is a long time to slowly drift apart and maybe it was just time to let her go and move on. She might of left, but she gave me room for the next person in my life. For that I thank her for leaving. Because of that I now can carry on more smoothly and hopefully at some point find somebody more my age and maturity that fits into my life better.