My Thirty Day Journey: Day 6

As the days slowly progress I slowly begin to figure out what I want and for once today I have found true motivation.  I have always been a spontaneous kind of person, one minute very bland and simple and the next a complex mash of excitement fills me dramatically.  My future project?  Rabbit rearing.  Currently I bought a hutch for a young doe I will be raising and later breeding, but I am also building a hutch to keep the kits once they are weaned.  I decided to build it out of an old dresser I don’t use, can’t say no to the creative mind.

It’s actually very nice to be focused on something because it keeps me from thinking about somebody I am dying to see.  It keeps me from crawling back to him begging to be cuddled and loved.  I know my self, I always return too soon before I am totally ready to return.  I always return because I crave being held and loved since I lacked so much of it as a child.  It’s my fault because I always return before I feel totally better and I just jump into the water cold without even thinking it through.  I refuse to do it this time.  I will take my time and wait till I feel well for a while (at least more than four days) and than I was gradually spend time and pick times convenient for myself.  Till than I shall just have to keep myself busy.

I actually have a lot of projects to keep myself busy.  I have a knitting project, a rabbit hutch project, a check list of daily activities, a barn and pen that need to be worked on, work itself so I can make money and I could probably come up with hundreds of other things I could do.  As long as I am busy I can’t miss him too much.

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