My Thirty Day Journey: Day 18/19

Another post done in a pair, starting to get difficult covering them day by day.

I think today I want to just apologize to everyone I love and care about for not always being the best person I can be.  Sometimes I am selfish, sometimes you are.  Sometimes I through fits and get upset, sometimes you do the same.  We aren’t perfect people and nobody expects us to be.  The last while though had made me think a lot about loving people and being in love with someone, yet so many people have different opinions.  To me loving someone is a choice, where as being in love is like involuntarily walking into it without noticing.  It’s more infatuation than love, being in love is normally short lived.

Loving someone is putting them first, your happiness is their happiness and you willing choose to do things that’ll make that person happy.  Even if it’s something just tiny like knowing they like a morning coffee on a Saturday so when you see them you pick them up a little coffee.  It’s telling them something they love hearing, not because you think it’ll make them like you more if you compliment them, but because you know it puts a smile on their face.  Loving someone is sacrificing things you normally wouldn’t because that person’s happiness is a link to yours, when they’re happily living life so are you.  Where as being in love has more to do with how you enjoy them, how you like things.  Being in love is just more to do with yourself than the love itself.  It’s the excitement of what you get out of that person for yourself, not what you can offer to make that person happy.

The golden one is loving someone and needing them to be happy where they are.  Loving someone is allowing them to live their life even if that’s a life without you.  Happiness doesn’t equate to being together all the time, it’s balance.  When you love somebody you allow them to have their moments with their friends, their time with their hobbies, ect.  Being in love is much like greed.  You need them in your life, you seek them out and constantly want more time with them because you don’t want that excitement to end but sadly being in love is often short lived.  At some point you need to decide, do I want to love this person and put them first, choose to make happiness for both of us.

Love is a bond, it’s a deep affection toward another person.  It is happily trying to bring out the best qualities in a person, it’s being there even if it’s not convenient for yourself.  Loving someone is learning every little detail about them, good or bad, and than accepting that because that’s what makes them who they are.  Well being in love is an infatuation, enjoying the fun side of somebody.  It’s that exciting moment they bring into your life and the hopes that there will never be a dreary day because you’re too busy enjoying the excitement.

For me love is of something simple:

Love is a choice.  It’s waking up in the morning on a busy day and texting them that morning letting them know so and so you can tell them how you hope for a wonderful day for them or a wonderful time at work because you might not be able to later.  It’s the need to know every little detail about that person because you want to understand them better, you want to get to know their interest and you want know what makes them smile.  It’s telling them how wonderful they are or how handsome/beautiful they are everyday because you know they enjoy hearing it.  It’s spending those special moments just with them that nobody else in the world could create with you even if it’s not exciting it still makes you happy because you’re in their company.  It’s having a secure place to go when everything is going terribly wrong, it’s a pair of arms that’ll hug you and give you comfort you can’t find with somebody else.  It’s fighting or being upset but still turning about and telling them you love them because you don’t want them to forget.  It’s putting everything out on the table knowing some of it might hurt, but wanting to sort something out because nobody could ever be that person the way they are.  It’s realizing that nothing is perfect, timing is always shitty, but you’d stick around for as long as you could stretch yourself out just continue to make that person happy.  It’s taking wounds and damage and dealing with it because you aren’t just going to replace that person just cause something didn’t go right.  It’s going every mile you can till there’s nothing left.

When I think about it love is like artwork, you have to go all the way and finish it to see it’s potential if you leave it half done than you’ll never know.  Well being in love, it’s like buying someone elses artwork and admiring it till you get bored.  I want to create something of my own with somebody, our own artwork together.

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