My Thirty Day Journey: Day 22

“What do you want in a relationship, five things. Go.”

Was what my friend ask me today, totally on the spot.  She was curious.  She wanted to know what I was looking for and she wanted to see if it was similar or different from what she got from other women.  Granted she asked other questions like how I am coping with the break up, do I feel like I really love him, ect.  Curiosity killed the cat guys.  Here are my five wants in a relationship though.

 

Communication.  Not because I am a super feely talky person, I am actually terrified of talking and it’s something I struggle deeply with especially person to person communication.  The reason it lands in the top five is because I struggle communicating.  I need a guy who is willing to put a little extra effort into the communication, someone who will and understand my side and try and make talking comfortable.  For me it has always been a tricky situation because I get super nervous when it comes to talking about my feelings and we I have to talk about a serious situation it intensifies.  I need a man who wont open fire on me when I’m struggling to open up and communicate.  It’s one of the darkest moments for me, the most difficult.  Already being a fairly nervous person I normally don’t like uncomfortable situation.  I want someone who can make even the worst conversation not feel so scary for me.

A life of their own.  I don’t want someone who is hung up on me and I don’t want someone who I end up hung up on.  I want someone who happily lives their life with their own goals, but wants to celebrate those goals with me when they achieve them.  I want someone who might be out with his friends all day but is happy to come back to my place after to just come cuddle and sleep in bed with me.  I want someone who works a long week, goes home and tells me he can’t wait for his days off so he can see my beautiful face.  I want someone who has a life, something thats going on, but wants to include me in his life.  I’m not just a side show attraction, a kinda maybe.  I am a small island in the middle of his heart floating and watching him move forward.

A bond.  One of the most important things for me is bonding time and special quality time.  I like going out and having an adventurous time, going for walks, laying and watching the stars, cuddling in bed and so much more.  Mainly because i can watch my partner and notice their quirks, their habits and their personality.  I like watching how a pair of people ‘mold’ together, how you for habits together and preferences together.  Most importantly though is I like watching myself grow with someone, particularly watching my feelings and love grow for someone and for their’s to do the same.  A bond is this beautiful thing between two human beings that creates such beautiful moments and I want a million moments.

Love.  I don’t just want a relationship, I want love.  I want someone who grabs me and kisses me passionately before telling me how much he loves me.  I want a man who knows I am enough for him, he doesn’t need a single other girl to fill his mind.  I am enough and he loves me.  I want to be the apple of his eye.  I want the purity of love in my relationship because I want whoever I am with to look at me and think about how lucky he is to have me and have him want to spend every moment he has loving me like every one was his last.  I want a love thats more than just unforgettable, I want it legendary.  Pardon me for shooting big, go big or go home.

Security.  That’s the last thing I really look for.  Something I never really tried looking for but I realize it is something I have really been needing in my life.  I want and need to feel secure with the man I am with in order to prosper in a relationship.  Even if he has to give me extra attention sometimes, talk about the same thing three of seven times in a row till I am content with the answer, or just simply tell me he loves me when I feel very sad.  I understand I can be such a handful but it’s so much easier when you feel secure.

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