Down to crunch time, it’s the last few days of that journey and to be honest I feel so much better and worse at the same time. I still don’t have a solid answer to everything I want and I am learning I don’t want answers to half the things I questioned 26 days ago. I feel like my perspective has changed a lot and my idea of what I was looking for has changed more than I wanted it to. I feel very content with a lot of the things going on yet very lost in the things I don’t completely understand.
I guess that’ what happens when you suffer through life. You realize that there is not a lot you an do with change. You either go with it or you get lost in the current. I think for a little bit I was just allowing myself to drown and I was deliberately holding my head under water because that was all I really knew how to do. I feel a lot more at ease though now.